August 18th, 2005

  • thaen

More than Meets the Eye

Tom may spoil his hef, but he is what most of us truly desire to be: a player.

I mean that, of course, in the nicest possible way. Just because a person fails to ferment their second batch of beer completely doesn't mean they should be castrated and thrown out the third-story window. No, we leave that kind of punishment to people who drink the last of the keg without offering anyone else a taste.

I can't say for sure whether Tom falls into this category, but I can say that his name will shortly be added to the People page, and that he has been put on the fast track to all-grain love.

Not that a player like him needs all-grain love to supplement certain other things, but everyone wants a little more.

He's never brewed an all-grain before. Well, one can't really say that he's brewed much before at all. If I were the cynical kind, I might say that his interest in brewing thus far has only been "passing," since it's been restricted to extracts-only (mostly due to his contrained budget). Believe me, we may criticize, but we understand.

I will take this rather content-void opportunity to remind you all: A woman who doesn't like beer isn't worth your time. Even the Thetan-crazy actor of infamy knows this (see: Cocktail for your edifying pleasure). If she can't appreciate the difference between an American Lager and a good Blonde from a craft brewer, I say leave her to drown in the fizzy-lifting drinks that she probably enjoys so much.